Review: Decoy, by 107yearoldvirgin

This review originally appeared on The Fictionators.  I'm reposting it now because the story's author is leaving the fandom.  Her collected works will still be available as a .pdf, but you'll have to contact her directly.

Can’t Buy Me Love was a 1987 movie about high school popularity and what someone desperate enough for it might do to get it. In Decoy, author 107yearoldvirgin, neatly turns this popular tale on its ear by giving it a Twilight spin.

Bella Swan is a nobody entering her senior year at Forks High. Everyone believes she’s a recent transplant, come to live with her dad now that her parents have reconciled. What they don’t remember is that Isabella lived in Forks when she was younger. She was friends with many of the kids who are popular now—kids who think her name is Brenda.

Edward Cullen is the popular, rich guy. He just got his car back, after it had an unfortunate meeting with a tree. The return to mobility and his continued freedom, as well as his participation in track and baseball, “his entire existence” as far as Edward is concerned, is conditional on Edward not damaging the vehicle again or getting any tickets. True to cocky form, Edward is the proud new owner of a speeding ticket mere hours later.

He heads to the police station to plead his case, but is thwarted. As he’s leaving he bumps into “Brenda” who uses her charms on the desk sergeant, Jacob Black, to get the ticket to disappear. Edward is grateful:

"I feel like I owe you now or something."

"You do," she says simply.

Intrigued, I press her. "And what exactly do I owe you?"

She pulls her wrist from my grasp and sighs. "The way I see it, Edward Cullen, you owe me your entire existence at this moment."

My mouth drops open in surprise.

 She smiles slightly, the happiness not reaching her eyes. "But I'll settle for you letting me hang out with you for the next month at school."

So the stage is set. Edward, reluctantly at first, and then more enthusiastically, holds up his end of the bargain. Bella is instantly popular. Edward purchases her new clothes and plays the attentive boyfriend. It’s not long before Edward starts to feel something more, something real, for this girl who reminds him of someone he once knew.

In a nod to Stephenie Meyer, Edward spends his nights sneaking into Bella’s bedroom where the two begin to explore a sexual relationship. Unlike Stephenie’s Bella, however, this Bella is no blushing virgin. She grew up in a nudist colony and is comfortable with her body and sex.

107yearoldvigin has promised us a departure from the traditional Can’t Buy Me Love storyline in the next chapter. Already we have seen some darker moments, moments 107 took from her personal high school experiences. The overall fun tone of the story has a dark tinge that isn’t angsty (yet), but realistic, as the callous machinations of high school students can have disastrous consequences.

I can heartily recommend Decoy, as well as 107yearoldvirgin’s almost complete Eight Days a Week, as great reads. 107 is a committed author, who updates regularly and has six other completed fics to her name.